Translation: Rather Cat than Lady

[de_eekhoorn]

Annie M. G. Schmidt, who wrote song lyrics, satire, and children's books, was also a longtime student of the porous boundary between cat and human. This is a translation of one of her efforts in this direction, Liever kat dan dame.


Rather cat than lady

There once was a lady in Bronck on the Rhine,
Who said: Being a cat seems to me very fine.
I need not of anyone’s judgment afraid be,
But still, I’d rather be a cat than a lady.

Whereupon she at once to the library went
And a magic book with magic recipes lent.
On page nineteen, she found (and not just that)
‘How you can change yourself into a cat.’

That was the recipe and now she could start.
She made quick advances in the purring art.
In headbutting, too, but after two weeks,
The library’s lending term was complete

And the book had to go back to the reading room.
Well that was, of course, just a little too soon.
The lady therefore had to halt her transforming
In the midst of the chapter on Rooftop Performing.

She said: It’s unpleasant, I think, all the same,
But if things are like this, I’ll a lady remain.
Now she’s back on the Housewives’ Association board.
But at night when the 1AM clock can be heard,
She goes up to the rafters with her glasses downstairs,
And when she sees mice, she moves not a hair.

I visited last week, to show my good will.
She’d just finished drinking her saucer of milk.
Oh dear, I said then, this is quite something shady:
She’s not yet a cat, but no longer a lady!